Went to bugis today to watch Lanke Cup. Really love the competitive atmosphere there. Wonder if i have another chance to join Lanke Cup in future?

I have been playing weiqi for quite some years and i notice a sad thing.

I seem to forget something call "快乐围棋".

I can remember clearly that when i first started weiqi, i used to find friends and gather in clubhouse to play weiqi or approach people to play games. Is really a happy thing to do cause we were all enjoying the game and is a form of gathering. But now this does not happen anymore. I notice this happen to alot of my peers too. Especially when we reach a certain Dan level or when we are playing competitively.

Every time when we play now, is either in competition or training and this kind of environment force us to think of winning all the time and forget the main reason why we started this game... FUN. Most of my peers dont play leisurely too, is it because they dont want to "lose face" when losing the game or they try to keep "secret weapon" and use it in tournament?

There is a period where i dont like to play weiqi not because i am bored of it but i hate the feeling of losing. Whenever i lose, i get upset easily and i have to find stuff to do like eating (haha) to distract myself from thinking of the losing match. Is a terrible feeling and i know if i cant overcome this, my myongji path will be a suicide path.

So where should i start?

Thanks yurika who help me bought some fan from nihon kiin. She even got discount from her friend!!

Was upset with m.s. Sometimes i dont know if this happen to the youngest member of the family. When everyone in the family is "taking care" of her and she has no one to "take care of", will it make her abit self centered? S incident really bother me alot and the last time i feel so upset is during wmsg. I was so angry that i almost could not control my emotions. If she cant make it on that day, why cant she suggest another date which she is available so that i can make arrangement? She just say cant go and thats it. If she can make time for her 한국 class, why cant she make time for S even for the last time? Everytime when i feel like going yishun i will think of this incident and is killing my passion for S. I dunno when i can go back S. I will be really disappointed if she miss that out. If you are reading this, i am not typing this to make you angry, i just need a place to vent out my anger.

Going to ORD in 2 months time. Started to hand over rooms to my junior and i know i am going to miss that place. All the memories. So what am i going to do from oct to feb? Thought of working part time in a dog farm where my friend used to work in. Pay isnt much but i like dogs alot and short working hours. Or should i concentrate on improving weiqi before myongji? One thing for sure, i am not going to slack at home and kill my brain.

Just came back from watching the YOG rehearsal which lasted for around 3hours. The performance were not bad but the starting was quite boring. Will be going to the actual one next week with my sis, wonder what will be in the goodie bag. There is this part where all the participating countries will introduced one by one and when it comes to Bangladesh, all the secondary school kids were cheering and shouting like mad.... i think foreigners attending will thought that we are very close to that country.

Yesterday was one crazy day in army. Started work at 8am and have to work all the way till 5am the next day.

Was talking to a friend in army. Few years back he was feeling unwell in his stomach and when he visited the doctor, he was diagnose with cancer stage 4 which means he is going to die soon. He went for chemotherapy and it was quite effective for him. Few months later all the cancerous cell in his body were wiped out. The doctor told him that even if the cancerous cell were wiped out, he can only live for the next 3 to 5 years. This is his 3rd year. When i heard his story i was really surprise because he look so cheerful everyday. I asked myself if i know how much time i have left, can i be as cheerful like him?